Things nobody tells you about being pregnant

Your low back never gets a break

Many people think that lower back pain shows up once the belly is huge and putting strain on everything. Unfortunately, it can start much earlier. Early pregnancy hormones can make muscles and ligaments relax, and everything internally is moving, growing, and reshaping even before baby gets big enough to “pop”. When muscles do something different, so changes your skeleton and how everything fits together and feels in general. So unfortunately, it is possible for the low back to be sore or cranky in some way from the very beginning of a pregnancy until the end.

Sleep gets complicated

Just like with the low back, sleep issues may not necessarily start once the body noticeably starts to change shape. Yes, once the belly pops, it gets harder to physically get comfortable enough to not only fall asleep, but stay asleep. However physical discomfort isn’t the only thing that can disrupt sleep. An anxious mind can keep anyone up, and very few people are more anxious than an expecting mom. Not only does she worry about the health of her baby and herself, but there is a constant concern about delivery, life changes, job, money, raising the child, etc. this coupled with hormones that are new and sometimes totally foreign can give the heaviest sleeper insomnia. So mental fatigue, paired with a changing and uncomfortable body, then add in the stuff nobody talks about like having to wake up and use the bathroom super frequently, can really make it difficult to get a good night’s sleep.

You can be happy about being pregnant but still be uncomfortable

Pregnancy should be an exciting time, even though it can be terrifying. For some people, it was not an easy journey to get there. So it can be mentally draining when someone gets tired, feels lousy, or just doesn’t enjoy feeling pregnant. Many people, especially other moms and the older generations, can (either intentionally or unintentionally) make a mom-to-be feel guilty if they react to or complain about not feeling great. They get treated like “suck it up, every woman has gone through this for generations” or “you should be grateful you are pregnant, you should be enjoying the opportunity”.  The truth is, nobody has been through the same pregnancy journey as someone else. What was taboo to be discussed once upon a time, is now more acceptable to share. Including a pregnant woman’s right to openly admit that sometimes she feels lousy. Just because physically being pregnant is rough, it doesn’t in any way diminish a mom-to-be’s feelings about her pregnancy, her baby, or becoming a mother. We are also still stuck in a society in which women need to work twice as hard to prove they can “handle it” and in some cases merely being pregnant can put her job, career, or much more in jeopardy, which forces her to “suck it up and smile” even if she isn’t feeling great. So it is ok to admit that stuff hurts, exhaustion is real, and being pregnant isn’t always flowers and sunshine. But even though feeling miserable happens, being happy about actually being pregnant is always in there somewhere, and both feelings can exist together.

The key to helping with pregnancy issues that pop up unexpectedly is for moms to be to allow themselves to take care of themselves.

(Yes, read that carefully because it may seem like a tongue twister.)

Prenatal massage can help with many of the issues, both expected and unexpected, that show up throughout a pregnancy.

Massage focused on not only the sore low back, but all the muscles surrounding the core and helping with posture and skeletal strength can help keep the discomfort to a minimum. The earlier the issues start being taken care of, the less likely they will get horribly bad. If there are no high-risk issues, prenatal massage is completely safe even during the first trimester, but many therapists for reasons of their own may not be comfortable working on someone during that time frame, so seek out a therapist that has advanced training or specializes in prenatal massage. That specialization will allow the mom-to-be to get the proper care in the areas she needs it the most before they become a problem.

Massage at any stage of anyone’s life or condition can help with sleep. Massage helps calm the stuff that makes people anxious like cortisol and adrenaline, and increase production of serotonin and dopamine, the stuff that makes people calm and happy. It can also help the body calm and balance all the extra crazy hormones bouncing around a pregnant system. While it can’t get rid of them, it can help everything in there work together without the new stuff taking over and making things worse.

Lastly, getting a prenatal massage is an excellent way for a mom to help herself feel better physically and mentally, calming those demons and allowing herself to accept that yes, she physically may not feel great all the time, but she is doing her best to enjoy the journey that will end with the greatest prize of all. It isn’t an easy journey no matter who says what or what she is forced to believe. Self care isn’t selfish, and is even more needed when someone is caring for someone other than herself.